Crazy Adventures & Near Disasters: Chapter 1

I just had to take the time to tell you all some of the near disasters that we've had here so far. And yes, there have been plenty. At the time these situations didn't seem very funny, but as I think about them now I just can't stop chuckling:

The other day the kids and I decided to meet Mike after he got off work downtown. So we went to our subway station which has a really long and narrow escalator ride to get up to. I had the stroller with my big bag on it and the kids were both walking b/c they like to ride the escalator by themselves. So Makenzie gets on with Tyler right behind her and then I get on with my stroller in front of me. Well, apparently Makenzie was on the edge and she quickly started falling backwards and before I could do anything she was upside down and had landed on top of Tyler who was also falling back. Of course with my motherly instinct, I quickly ran up to them and picked them both up before they could start doing somersaults backwards down the escalator. Unfortunately that meant letting go of my stroller and bag. They landed at the bottom of the escalator with all of my stuff sprawled out. So I put down Tyler and was holding Makenzie (who was still screaming) and decided that maybe I could sprint down to the bottom against the flow of the escalator and reach my stuff. But as I began trying I noticed that Tyler was getting closer and closer to the top of the escalator all by himself and I wasn't making quick progress. Luckily , right then some random guy was getting on and I yelled to him to PLEASE SIR, grab my stuff and could you bring it up with you? He was so nice and helped gather my things and brought it up the escalator. But man, what a mess!!

My chinatown adventures are always fun! I like to buy the fake prada bags and to do so you have to listen as you walk down the street for people mumbling the right words under their breath. As you walk by you kind of look at everyone and listen for the magic words :gucci, prada, coach, bags. As soon as you hear it your eyes meet and you nod and then you're off to who knows where. I followed 5 different people this trip. Three of them led me to normal looking stores with normal purses inside but they would knock on a wall and suddenly a secret door would appear in the wall. One man led us down about three blocks and up an alley into an unmarked door. He rushed us in quickly and then before we could leave he had to look out the peephole. The best was this woman who led us down a quiet street and then asked Mike if he could wait with the kids on the sidewalk. She looked up and down the street and then rushed me into the back of a minivan!!! All the windows were tinted and you could barely sit down. I almost jumped out when they started the car but then she told me it was just for the a/c to start. Mike told me that when I got in Tyler asked him, "Daddy, why is mommy going in that van?" I'm not sure what he told him.


Today we took the subway to the manhattan temple to go to church. There was an old homeless man who jumped up at one of the stops and in a loud voice to everyone announced," I'm just stepping out for a smoke, could someone hold the door for me?" Everyone around us laughed because if you've ever been here before, than you know that there isn't even time to light your cigarette, let alone smoke the whole thing, before the doors close. He then added, "Does anyone want me to bring them back some coffee or anything?' He was so thoughtful!

The whole finding a bathroom when you need it still causes disasters here. When we were walking along the river the other day Tyler said he really needed to pee. So we kept walking thinking that at some point we would find a bathroom or see a cafe or diner that would let us use theirs. No luck and it was getting urgent. So we sat down on some benches with some bushes and trees behind and had him stand next to us and secretly let him pee in the bushes. I felt really good that we had avoided a potty emergency until we walked a few more feet where there was a sign posted that said "Pet urine damages plants!" Oh well. Hopefully that doesn't apply to little boy pee. Unfortunately, Tyler did have one accident when we were at the Columbia University campus and Mike couldn't find a bathroom for him fast enough. I should have just let him go in the bushes again but we thought for sure we could find one. Mike said he was right outside the bathroom doors when Tyler couldn't hold it any longer and his jeans started getting really darker and urine starts dripping out to his flipflops. Yuck! Mike took him home on the subway and got a lecture from Tyler the whole time about getting him to the potty faster. Now every time I find him a bathroom he thanks me for getting him to the potty really quickly.